Studying can only bring us so much happiness in life, and when a week is spent working hard, sometimes the soul can use some fresh air.  So, rather spontaneously, we rounded up a group and headed past Spanish Fork with hopes of visiting the hot springs. We drove along windy roads past rusty red mountains and discovered the four mile stretch leading to the trail head to be blocked off to vehicles.  Oh well, isn't that what adventures are for? The rivers were crested with icicles and the forests around us sprinkled in snow, but it was a surprisingly beautiful day.
    Everyone who passed us warned us about the icy trail ahead.  We took the risk.  And then, upon passing the trailhead, we attempted to climb up a hill only to have three of us fall flat on our bums.  Maybe we weren't as tough as we thought-- but the hike to the hotsprings just wasn't going to happen. Of course, we didn't make our way back until we made a slippin-slide out of the path! Joy in the journey, right?   

    If Provo is anything, it's different than Laie.  But it's lack of tropic breeze and multicultural experience makes it by no means less exciting -- after all, where else could I bump into so many old acquaintances yet to be seen for the last several years? Here I have friends from Massachusetts, Hawaii, the mission, Arizona; could I ask for anything more?
    My first semester at BYU means a fresh start.  With a brand new major offering a future of incredible opportunities, I am optimistic that I will find fulfillment in my career. Do I miss photoshop and drawing? Of course.  But anatomy is sure something wild and interesting to tackle.
    Here in Provo, I live with my sister, my almost-twin, who I finally get to spend time with after a vast majority of 2.5 years apart. Yes, we totally watched an Insidious movie every night last week.  I can walk across the way and sip sodas with my cousin, or jog to my boyfriend's house for an evening of homework or (more excitingly) some 1 AM grocery store ice cream.
    On Sunday, we hit up Salt Lake City for a young adult devotional by Elder and Sister Uchtdorf.  After a wonderful message, we waited in a hot chocolate line for an hour and checked out the visitors' center, where I got to speak German with a missionary whose mother I met in Munich over a year ago!

     Everyone talks about the "awkward RM phase." When returned missionaries re-enter the real world, they came sometimes just act... funny.
    Regarding my first night home in Arizona, my mom jokes that she was worried I was TOO happy to be home.  But within a day, all the bubbly excitement melted away.

     My memories of the last few weeks of my mission are rather chaotic.

     To preface, I had spent a whole 16.5 months daydreaming about normal life as if it was something glorious -- not necessarily because I was homesick all the time, but because it was something so utterly unavailable.   The mission life seemed like it would never end -- not because it was in any way "bad," but because it's something I became completely dedicated to.   So when I laid in bed at night thinking about people or bucket-list activities from home, it felt more like fantasy than anything.
     What I failed to realize was that it really WAS fantasy.

THE RM KATIE ACCORDING TO HER OWN MISSION DAYDREAM FANTASIES:

• *popular blogger, regularly writing creative posts with gorgeous pictures for a worldwide audience just as big-- no, HUGER-- than when she was writing her mission blog. Making her way to potentially becoming a paid travel blogger whose only worry is not getting too prideful amidst all her fame.
• *amazing big sister, taking her siblings on weekly date nights to dinner or movies or on nature walks, patient and fun and loved by all their friends as well
• *accomplished musician, composing dark indie albums, practicing piano every day, learning guitar, and also making facebook-famous Christmas-mashup music videos with her five musical siblings
• *talented writer and artist, so disciplined with her time that she spends a portion of her every day painting and is able to write a ton of her novel with all the refreshing new ideas she suddenly got after sacrificing writing for so long
• *progressing language learner, watching movies in German and reading the Book of Mormon in Spanish, never uttering a prayer in English
• *perfectly multitasking college student + worker + weekend adventurist
• *dashing girlfriend
• *popular, outgoing new girl in the singles ward
• *American milkshake lover 

     In the last month and a half before I went home though, I suddenly started to freak out.  Forget how magical home life was supposed to be-- my mission was ending! That transfer was one of my best in the sense that my German was really picking up, the members and my companion were amazing (bless her poor soul for having to deal with me), we had incredible leadership opportunities, we got to teach and learn from AMAZING people, and miracles were occurring left and right.  I binged on pretzels, gelato and extravagant p-day activities as I prepared to leave a place and a calling I hadn't realized how much I loved until it was slipping out of my hands.
     So while one moment I'd be excited to reunite with my family, the next I'd be sprawled on the floor whining about how I didn't want to leave.  And then two weeks before I returned home, suddenly half my school/other plans that I had made changed, and my mom even commented she thought maybe I wouldn't like living at home. I was terrified.
     Come the last day of the mission.  The day every missionary thinks will never come:  I hugged my comp goodbye joined the other "dying" elders and sisters in Munich for a home cooked dinner and a beautiful testimony meeting all in German.  When everyone headed to the hostel, most of the other missionaries were buzzing with excited energy.  I on the other hand felt myself almost incapable of words.  There was one elder who understood me; I could see it in his eyes. He was outright in his disdain, and when we started talking privately, we pinned it down to a fear of purposelessness.
     The twenty hours of travel were amazing.  The worries which had silenced me now transformed into excitement which helped me to converse with many kind people as I awaited the great homecoming. I bawled my eyes out with joy when I was finally reunited with my family, and boy I had never been so excited to see a cactus.
     But the problems came as the little fantasy I had dreamed up started chipping at every corner.

**TO BE CONTINUED