Forward

  There's always time to move on.
  I guess not everything's for me, though just a year ago I may have flouted just how skilled I was in so many different areas...  Perhaps it's backfiring, as I'm just not quite good enough at everything, as if potential was spread a bit too thin between so many different areas of passion.  Did I grin to widely as not even a year ago I would count off my fingers: "I'm a singer, pianist, writer, cheerleader/dancer/gymnastic/tumbler, artist, photographer, actress, straight-A Honors student, scrapbooker, chef," so on and so forth...?   Now I watch the Concert Choir return from an exciting trip to California after winning first place in huge competitions, the same choir who has also gone to Carnegie Hall to perform, and then read the list of next year's chosen students-- oh so many of them-- that does not include myself, despite my efforts.  And I watch friends try out for the same Varsity cheer squad that also won first place at a national competition in California after getting second place in Florida last year, and sigh at the blow that I just don't have the capability. 
  Forgive me and my vain pouting of vain problems.  But to be honest, I'm totally fine.  I'm the one having to comfort those friends who succeeded who feel bad about me not succeeding. 
  Because now more doors can open.  And I swear I'm not tilting my nose with sour grapes {like my allusion from English class?  I have a test on idioms & references like this tomorrow}.  I've really seen in the past just how changes like these, though sad at first, allow me to expand my horizons.  Gee, that's how I discovered a passion for singing in the first place-- by not being able to continue with my beloved gymnastics, I had the time on my hands to try out for a musical.  And way back in fourth grade when I discovered, unlike all my friends, that Advanced Math was utterly too difficult for me and I had to drop the class midway through first quarter, I was able to enter Advanced Writing, a three-year class I loved dearly. 
  With a wider view, though it absolutely sucked to enter junior high with no friends after all my besties moved to like California, now I have the friends that I have now.
  Yeah, it's not fun that after in the past being treated as one of the "best" at what I did, I then get dropped like... Well, I don't have a good simile.  But the point is, I shouldn't make a big fuss out of anything.  I shouldn't take offense or let myself be all depressed, nor should I be a brat and be like, well, obviously everyone's just wrong because I deserve better, because even if maybe I was sick during the audition or whatnot, there is always reason for what happens. {Ironically I had been bragging to everyone about how immune I was to sickness, because I had gone for seven months or more without a single bit of allergies or illness-- up until the day before the audition, when I became super sick.}  Maybe things just turn out the way they do simply because they are or aren't mean to be!  And if it's time to move on, it's time to move on.  

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