You know, I was scared out of my mind to come home. As I boarded the plane, my heart felt numb, sure that no place could be as beautiful as the Alps, that no lifestyle could be a fulfilling as a mission. It was a very long trip-- 23 hours with flights and layovers-- but I could sense the change in my shy self as I befriended many-a-stranger along the way. Yet, the last hours especially were torturous as I awaited the arrival in PHX, knowing this was the moment I had pushed out of my mind in the most homesick parts of my mission and that-- alas-- it was here.
When I saw them, I ran. As my eyes met those of the family and friends I hadn't seen in 18 months, they welled with tears and I embraced them. The kids all looked so big.
The car ride home included many stories, and by the time we pulled up to the newly-painted house at 10:30 PM, the stake president was there and greeted me auf Deutsch. He sat the family around in a circle for a prayer and asked me questions and gave me advice. I couldn't help but keep touching my nametag in defense, until finally the moment came when my mother was to take it off. I wept.
As I had always promised myself, my next step was to slip on a swimsuit and convince my siblings to jump in the pool, although we immediately had to swim back out when a flash of lightning cracked the second we hit the water. Dad made sourdough waffles-- just like he did the night before I left-- and I shared the pretzels I bought for the family in Stuttgart. When the adrenaline subsided enough to sleep, I shared a bed with my baby sister.
The next morning, I went on a jog all by myself. Then I called Dallin for the first time. I was so nervous, I hardly knew what to say-- but oh was it good to hear his voice! I joined my mother in some shopping (cause I certainly had no clothes left after the mission) and then celebrated my cousin Paige's 18th with some long-awaited Mexican food. We blared my favorite album in her car as we drove up to meet her sister Kendall's new husband (they married right before I came home) and then, when nighttime came, got some shave ice and started watching Moana in the pool before the mosquitoes started attacking my "foreign" blood.
It's strange to be home. When you're gone for the vast majority of two years, all the memories of home and loved ones seem hardly reality anymore... yet when you're finally back, it feels oh some natural... oh so good.
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