You requested a letter. So here it is, loozah. You have been gone for way to long-- so long that you don't technically even deserve this letter-- but I figure by writing it that I have an excuse for not editing my arête essay, so you're lucky to get off the hook. I mean, come on! A day without you is a year without rain. (Wondering what song just popped up on my iPod?) So just imagine the drought we're experiencing here. You see, this is cruel! And not to mention the other times when you have caused me to completely lose my clarity of vision and the stability of my feet, tickled me so hard I couldn't be breathe,  or made people think this good Mormon girl was a druggie cause I get so high off your wonderfulness. Really, boy? Really? It's not even cool. Okay, actually it's so cool I just can't even handle it, which I guess is precisely the problem.  You just got way too much swag for a 5' chick like me. I mean, I'm pretty small, and there's only so much humor and dreaminess and intellect and musicality and spirituality and hawticality such a petite body can take.  I think I'm starting to get on handle on it. But if you add any more loneliness to dat, I think I'll die. Which would suck. So GET YOUR BUTT HOME and be prepped for a tackle. I don't care if you're not sitting on the couch.
Okay, I wrote a letter. You happy now? Now I would've liked to actually be able to find your house and TP you, or be able to FaceTime you, but I know I got my fair share of luck being able to get you, so sI won't beg to stretch my fortunes any more.